The first step is to accept the fact of death and realize that it has already happened. This allows you to look at and touch the deceased: wash the body, dress it, comb its hair and so on. The farewell and funeral ceremony is a very powerful tool in the process of accepting the death of your loved one.
The death of a loved one is always painful, frightening and is a forced rethinking of your life.
No one can fully understand your pain because we are born alone and we also die alone. We also suffer alone, each in his or her own way. We cannot process grief, but we can survive it. Psychologists distinguish four basic stages of grief and sorrow:
2. Experiencing the pain of loss.
For example, you can write a letter to your loved one who is no longer with you. It is human to be sad about the loss: first of all we feel sorry for ourselves, it hurts that we no longer see our loved one next to us. It is advisable to live with self-pity for a limited time, otherwise you risk staying in this state, perhaps for months or years to come. Either way, you remain with your loved one, just no longer on a physical level. He or she remains in your memory, in your heart. Death does not end your relationship, but it takes it on, in a different form. It also helps to think about the nature of death itself. In our society, it is customary to mourn on deceased loved ones.
Second, try to immerse yourself well in the pain of the loss, no matter how scary or difficult it is, just live through the pain and then you will eventually be able to let go. Everyone chooses their own way to get through this period: gently, caring for themselves and those around them. Or just destroying themselves and everything around them. Some resort to alcohol, tranquilizers, and this often leads to the griever involuntarily staying "stuck" in the first or second stage of grief and unable to move on. At this point you may experience pain, resentment, loneliness, rejection, guilt, even anger and despair. Make it a week, a month, two or three months - as long as necessary. During this period, express your feelings freely, reliving the memories over and over again if necessary.
Normally the soul had its own plan for this particular incarnation of which you are a contemporary and witness. There is always and in everything a cause-and-effect relationship. Neither you nor anyone else can know what tasks were for this soul when it was in its incarnation. What happened is always best for a particular soul, no matter how harsh it sounds now. And you acquire the understanding that everything happens exactly as it should.
Some cultures have a different attitude toward death: people celebrate the transition of their loved ones to the next stage, they dance at funerals and listen to beautiful music. If we try to expand our consciousness and go beyond the usual frameworks and stereotypes, perhaps we can understand and accept death in a different way. We are also used to considering a particular person's fate in the context of one life. However, death is only one of the steps on the ladder on which each soul moves. A person as a soul, as energy, does not disappear without a trace, but simply passes into the subtle plane, which we cannot see with our eyes.
From the holistic point of view, the fate of your loved one's soul is unpredictable for you. In any case, you can imagine that he or she is now ascending into the light, where many discoveries and new stages of spiritual development await him or her. Wish him or her ease and joy along the way and let go.
If you feel that time is not healing or if you just can't handle your emotions on your own, contact professionals who offer psychological help.
3. The third stage - is adjusting to the world without him or her.
4. The fourth stage of grief involves learning to enjoy life again, including through cherished memories of your loved one's passing.
You may have to change your habits, daily schedule and routines. Sometimes you have to learn new skills and knowledge to become independent or self-sufficient.
Even when you feel the ground sinking beneath your feet, we are there to catch you, support you and give your loved one a dignified and memorable funeral.